Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize