I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
