I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
