i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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