I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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