You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
dude. I can hear the air.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize