Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
