She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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