My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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