you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
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