Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
