Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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