And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
