don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
