all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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