Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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