Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Green mimosas i think yes
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
