awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Watching her eat just hurts me
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
