Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Randomize
