big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
