D3 body, D1 cock
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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