They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
