when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
