We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
