Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
