It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
