Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
