okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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