he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
