Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize