I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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