How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
