so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
