Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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