At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
