Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
