just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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