i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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