my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
