hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
