So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
