More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Randomize
