I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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