"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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