Already got asked if we're dating
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
