sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
