Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You pole danced in your parka.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
