What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
P.S. I can't hear my feet
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
