I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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