So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize