I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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