i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Omg I joined a choir last night...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
