i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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