shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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