He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he fucked my hip out of place.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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