i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
