What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
