woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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