apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Drake has all the answers
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize