Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
