Dude my mom stole all your condoms
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I feel like a drive thru vagina
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
