I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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