I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The power of my boobs compel you
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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