I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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