you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
