don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
