Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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