wanna go halves on a baby?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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