You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
