My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize