Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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