Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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