we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
